The Art of Taking Compliments

The rule of the thumb when someone pays you a compliment, is to simply say "Thank you very much". Other optional comments that come with confidence are, "I'm flattered you think I have good taste" or even "Takes one with taste to know one who has good taste". For asians, where modesty is a virtue and pride is frowned upon, our programmed response would be "Oh, I'm not the one with taste. Fourth Auntie is the truly tasteful one!", or "You're too kind. I'm not really that good. You are such a generous person!". Or if you were paying a cynical asian woman a compliment, she might say, "That's not true." or even "What do you want??"

While receiving sincere compliments is as straight forward as you want it to be, how do you receive compliments that are obviously a stretch? My colleague from India, relocated to our Singapore regional office a few months ago, today told me that I look to him like an 18 year old. He saw the look I gave him, and repeated himself, unintimidated, "Really! I'm not just saying it. You really do. You're not 18 or 19 are you? I was wondering how an 18 year old could afford to buy her own flat. I thought you might be a millionaire or something."

It was a challenge to know the right response. Firstly, while the 2 of us are rather pal-ly, he is after all at a much senior level than myself. While I work for the regional office, he reports directly to our head office in the States. And while I take care of only web marketing and internal communications, he takes care of international strategic global accounts. So it would be impolite for me to say, "Dude, are you having me on??"

Yet, I wouldn't be as vain to accept that he was telling me his honest, sincere opinion. While I have always looked younger than my age, the "perception" gap has been steadily closing over the years. I used to look 7 years younger, then 5, then 3, and today, most people would guess my correct age.

I decided to conclude that he was having a good day and simply wanted to pass his sentiments around.