To Tighten Belts, SIA to Shorten Skirts

by Michael Bloombird
Singapore Airlines has said they will be taking immediate measures to deal with the losses arising from the economic crisis. According to SIA spokesperson Ms Choe Puay Kee, "We must cut costs and focus on our strengths. We can do both of these by shortening the length of the sarong worn by our Singapore Girls."

Ms Choe said that while other airlines could compete with SIA on services and amenities, "our real appeal is the Singapore Girl, so that's what we must exploit."

Accordingly, the traditional Pierre Balmain-designed batik sarong kebaya worn by female flight attendants will have its skirt length shortened to halfway up the thigh. The estimated savings in fabric costs is estimated to be around $3m annually.

"The savings will be a real leg up for us financially," said Ms. Choe.

The new change in outfit will be accompanied by an ad campaign bearing the slogan, "Fly the Friendly Skies, and See More Friendly Thighs".

Air stewardess Ms Por Ang Mor accepted the measures as necessary. "Boh pian, mah. If we don't let them cut, we all sure kena chop."

SIA had also intended to shorten the length of the stewardesses' blouses to expose their belly buttons in line with current fashion trends, but, as Ms. Choe put it, "We didn't have the stomach for such a drastic
move."

Posted on Our Refrigerator Door

After the incident of the non-compliant booze, an A4 sized paper was found taped to the office refrigerator door on our floor:

Corporate Policy XXX

“The use, possession, distribution, purchase, or sale of alcohol by any person while on Company premises, or while operating Company equipment is prohibited unless prior permission has been obtained from appropriate Company management. Any person under the influence of alcohol is prohibited from entering Company premises, engaging in Company business, or operating Company equipment. Any use of alcohol that causes or contributes to unacceptable job performance or unusual job behavior is also prohibited.”

P.S. Please remove. I really do not want to see good wine go to waste.

Yipes.

Non-Compliant Booze

Last week, following the international safety week day, someone had found booze in the fridge on our floor. Unfortunately, the Corporate Policy Compliance unit (not the actual name) sits on the same level(how stupid can some people get??) and they found the booze. It wasn't difficult.

They promptly got someone to shout out on our floor that having booze stocked in the fridge on office premises wasn't compliant with corporate policy and demanded that it be removed immediately.

It was done quickly, but so discreetly that no one knew who put it in the fridge. Next thing you know, our boss received an email from the Corporate Policy Compliance unit asking her if she had approved for the booze to be brought into office premises with an attached copy of the policy booklet. We promptly replied, "nope, not me" and "Me neither". The mystery remains unsolved, and I'm pretty sure the compliance unit will not let it go that easily. Who knows, they may work with our ex-FBI Security head to weasel out the person with the audacity to breach our corporate policies...

Conned!

Our sweet department secretary, whom I've recently got to help me with a global project sent me an sms early this morning.

"Are you in the office" she asks.

We work from home sometimes when we don't have any meetings and need a place to work where people aren't constantly popping into our cubicles to ask us on-the-spur questions, pull us into impromptu meetings, chase us for something that's way down in our priority list, etc.

In a meeting, I replied "Yes, in a meeting. What's up"? She later replies me when I'm in my second meeting for the day that my boss would like to speak with her and myself on that same global project mentioned late in the afternoon. It would be right after my second meeting.

"Ok, I should be done by then" I replied, and she tells me that she will call me to let me know when my boss is ready for the meeting. I managed to squeeze 10 minutes between meetings to send her and my boss 3 files on the project plus an update file. I went down at the appointed time and found my boss still on a previous conference call. So we waited outside her room until she was done. I used that time to brief and update the secretary on the 3 files, the process following and what she needs to do.

When my boss was done for the meeting, to my surprise, she strode out of her room said "Let's go" and walked toward the central area. The meeting was to be in her office. I thought, "Must be that she needs to get some materials from the secretary's desk or from the printer."

I follow them into the central area and lo and behold suddenly heard a choir composed of my colleagues singing the birthday song, saw the carrot cake with the single candle, and realised that I'd been conned.

We spent the rest of the session (while gobbling down the cake) on the booze-in-fridge incident on my floor (see next post).

Ok, so I was touched. *sniff*

Someone Get On The Keyboard!

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me... :) I'm 25 again this year...