Martinis

I've never drank a martini and enjoyed it before. Until this year. Apparently fruit and martini go together very well. When I decided to try my first martini, I tried what was "in". After all, if it were that popular, it had to be good, right? Same concept when you're someplace new and not sure what is good. Look for the longest queue and you're almost certainly guaranteed a yummy meal.

Except that sometimes the queue is due to really cheap prices rather than good food. And sometimes, you realise its a line for free goodies (not food!). Well, though you don't end up reaching your original objective, you still get a good deal right? But I digress.

So my first martini was of course the cosmopolitan (gad, Carrie Bradshaw has such an influence on me!). Hated it. Hated and hated it again. Not to mention that it made me very sick. I'm very sensitive to smell, so something foul smelling could make me retch even without putting it in my mouth. Not that I would if it smelt that bad!

Well, deciding that drinks were something Carrie had no taste in, I swore off martinis. Until the night when we bid goodbye to our sales director. My (very in and vogue) colleagues persuaded me to try lychee martini, and it was fabulous. Sweet, tangy and with a twist of cherry liquor to give it a little body.

Today, after a week of never ending meetings and people demanding (and I mean ordering me!) my attention and others who needed help, I was ready for a Friday evening happy hour. So we grabbed our Australian colleague who was flying back in the late evening, and went downtown.

I was then introduced to (green) apple martini, and it tasted even BETTER than lychee martinee. The conversation then went onto different martini concoctions, which led to lavendar martini... I wonder how that tastes like. Though I'm doubtful of it being a drink - the combination doesn't sound very compatible - but it's recommended by the same person who introduced me to apple martini.

The downside of it was that lavendar martini is not available in singapore. I would have to fly down to the states to get a taste of it. sigh. My trip to Kentucky that was cancelled would have been a perfect opportunity to try that out...

Yahoo's New Look Goes Live Today

Yahoo has launched its new look in the US to be followed by other regions. Its financial page will also be revamped later.

The new site has Ajax integration, DHTML and personal customization features. It has been described as Yahoo's most significant redesign. Check it out for yourself.

Gambling911

Are you a risk taker, gambler even? Are you sure? Want to bet?

I watched Oprah's interview of Anderson Cooper on tele and thought his account of his family tragedy inspiring. There was an intensity about Anderson (not to mention that he's really cute!) that intrigued me and I googled the web for more information.

Instead, I stumbled onto this site taking bets on which actor the public thought were gay. The polls are rather interesting, and it seems that Oprah herself is not spared...

Challenging Friends

I confess that my struggle with work is not independent of my personal emotional state. At the same time that my duties have suddenly tripled, I am in the middle of coordinating renovation for my new flat, and trying to handle a handful of friendships that have become complicated. Things are not going well for friends, and some have a problem that I am not having a good time.

Two of my friends are in need of counselling - one who is coming to discover that her feelings for other women are not platonic, and the other having just quit her job as a pastor after 11 years of service at a church who accused her of something entirely without basis or proof. Both are going through crises in their lives and I feel awful as a friend because I do not know how to console them. And I don't even want to pretend to try in case I make things worse. All I can do is offer my ears, and find time to just hang out with them.

In addition, my days are now filled with back to back meetings. I am unable to respond to their text messages and calls when they need a friend because I'm in a room full of people on a conference call. I feel guilty that I do not have time for them (I hardly see my parents too though we're living in the same house!), and am afraid that they will do something to hurt themself.

At the same time, I have "happy" friends who cannot deal with it when I am not happy. It was quite an experience for me to discover that. These friends want your company when you make them laugh, are charming, have witty stories to tell. However, when you start revealing the hard facts of life, become transparent to the problems you face in your life, and are not in the mood to be the life of the party, they actually get upset. They do not like to be reminded that life can be tough, and that there are people who are less fortunate than them who have real issues on their hands. They get angry with me because I upset the predictable, "happy" balance of their lives.

It has been a time where I have had to re-evaluate my friendship with those close to me, and to evaluate myself as a friend. Not a place where I want to be at this time, given that I have enough pressure in my life already. But they have provided insight and is another step of self-discovery.

Key to Happiness

Things at work are getting crazy. Blogging is my way of converting negative stress to positive sharing. But when things get so bad that I can't find happy things to talk about, I'd rather be silent. It was with this frame of mind that I wondered if I could find happy things to blog about. Actually, it was a pretty horrible day.

So I decided to read the papers. I was informed that there was an Amazing Race publicity piece in the Singapore papers today, with coverage for our company. Instead, I come across this interesting piece of article that actually addressed my frame of mind. Entitled, "Positive motivation key to happiness", it talks about how Singapore as a nation had so many blessings. In reversal, our the article also reveals that Singapore citizens rank among the unhappy people of the world.

Apparently, instead of being grateful, the good life serves instead to instigate the need for more. This is consistent with findings that nations that are the richest and wealthiest have the most unhappy people. Go figure.

But it did make me feel better about my situation. Reminding me of my blessing as a citizen of singapore, I am also reminded that though work has been horrible, it is also a far better place to be than my previous company. And for bigger and better things, there must always be sacrifices. While my job is extremely demanding and at times takes from me more than what I'm willing to give, I am consoled that my company does recognise and take care of good people who have the best interests of the company at heart. Of course I'm aware of the politics around me, but I don't focus on them as they are too distracting. While I am sensitive of them and careful of the steps I take, I choose not to mind them too much for they detract me from my true key deliverables and derails me from the healthy attitude of competing against myself to the preoccupation of the games people play.

And THAT is the key to happiness. Not craving for more, not comparing yourself with others, not engaging in games that you lose your true worth. But realistically listing down the blessings you have in your life to be grateful for (and they can be simple things!), choosing to focus on personal growth in the job, and staying focused on what's really important in life.

The 4 million picture smile

I was at the airport today, helping a friend out with his night class assignment. He is taking an IT degree, and was conned into signing up for this particular course for which the sales rep had promised "no programming". Apparently ALL the classes were programming courses. Moral of the story - Sales reps lie. AND my friend is too trusting and gullible. *evil grin*

Well, the assignment being an online game and me being a web meister, I was asked to help him with the look & layout of the site, as well as the Java coding. We had met the night before for a couple of hours where I had done up some graphics for him on photoshop. Today, he needed help in customizing pages and changing HTML and pieces of Java code to achieve what he wanted. As he is currently starting to see someone, he spent most of his time messaging his friend while I did most of the work.

I was ok with it though. I'm such a workaholic. Anything and everything about publishing a web page or dealing with new technology fascinate me. So while he dutifully looked over my shoulder to observe and learn what I was doing while on the phone with his (to-be) girlfriend, I was having fun messing and experimenting with his code and layout which I do say with a sense of pride, worked beautifully.

So, while we were hunched over his laptop, we were approached by 3 journalists. They requested to take pictures of our smiles. At first, i only saw the 2 girls. They were pretty young and sweet and approached my friend for his picture. I was used to this (my friend has been described by my girlfriends as a hunk) as all the girls who were promoting or trying to market something would be swooning over him. Never mind that any of us gals were standing behind him, or even that we looked like we could well afford their products more than him (hehe), he was the one who got their undivided attention.

So, I half ignored them while still publishing my code as they snapped a picture of him. Then one of the girls turn to me and asked me for one too. Curious, I asked what it was about.

"Oh, we have to take pictures of smiles from 4 million Singaporeans. And we will pick the one with the best smile. If you win, you will get this prize." She passed me a brochure of a full scale massage chair. And then suddenly they were joined by this really cute, blonde caucasian guy who must be only in his early twenties.

Anyway, I agreed to let them take the photo and while they did, I heard the cute caucasian trying to interview my guy friend. Being a typical guy on a weekend with nothing in his brain except his new girlfriend, he wasn't helping the frustrated journalist.

"So why do you think we are doing this?"

My friend went, "What? Doing what?"

"This competition. Why do you think we're doing this?"

"Oh, are you with them? I don't know. You just want pictures of our smiles right?"

Giving up, the journalist moved on to the next question.

"So why do you think Singaporeans need to smile more?"

"I don't know. Smiling is good isn't it?"

The journalist gave up and walked off.

I was laughing my head off on the inside, and as I was so amused by this conversation, I did not attempt to help or give him something for his piece.

I must say that while my friend is not the best person to interview, the journalist definitely needed to work on his technique. He failed to introduce himself and to associate himself with the other 2 girls who were creating awareness of the competition.

Secondly, he could not have been more vague in his questions. Having worked as a sub-editor for a local paper with a few journalists under me, I almost told him that he should go back to brush up on his interview skills. Never ask a general/vague question. If the interviewee does not understand your question, reword it instead of repeating it again and again. That doesn't help him get it if he didn't get it the first time. And always, always clarify your question, and lead the interviewee into the arena where he will have an idea of an answer for you.

My friend of course, knew that I was relishing in amusement at this useless interview even though my eyes were riveted on his laptop screen.

"Its going to be posted in a web page you know" he said.

"Oh really? Ugh. Shouldn't have let them take my picture then. I don't look good in photos."

"Oh come on, there's going to be 4 million faces up there. You think anyone's going to notice you?"

So he got his revenge. I'll be sure to have something the next time we meet for MY revenge...

PS. I wonder if the reason behind this competition were the results of the Reader's Digest World Politeness Survey that ranked us as the 30th polite country... or maybe its a scheme by dentists to make us self conscious about our pearly whites...

The Art of Being Picked Up

I am the worst person a guy could ever try to pick up. As I have an innate distrust of strangers - my mother made sure I learned that lesson well - the only time I have kind thoughts of someone I meet on the street is when I have needed direction or information and the person kindly obliges. All other men who try aproaching me on the streets are (in my mind) secretly or blatantly looking for sex, rapists, con men, or casanovas.

The first time someone tried picking me up, I was out on a morning run. Emboldened by the fact that it was an empty street and I was a young teenager, he thought it would be easy to chat me up. What made his attempt laughable was that in addition to the fact that he was already in his thirties, he was wearing slippers as he trotted up alongside me.

"Miss, can I be your friend?" Original pick up line there. I ignored him.

"So you run every morning? I also run every morning you know. Maybe we can run together and become friends." Right. I rolled my eyes as his slippers went "flop, flop, flop, flop..."

As he still wouldn't go away, I became extremely annoyed at having my privacy invaded. I started into a sprint, leaving him smothered behind in my dust trail.

In another incident, I encountered a flasher - you know the ones who like to show off their sausages to strangers because they are so proud of them. Well, it wasn't a pick up, but the scenario is pretty much the same. Again, I was out exercising (what is it with men - why don't they leave women who are trying to enjoy their walk/run alone?) and he came up behind me really fast on a bicycle and grabbed me by the arm.

I was EXTREMELY annoyed. Privacy and time alone by myself was something very precious to me. Its a time when I download the events of the day, mentally process them and sift through my emotions. It's also the time when I walk away with important decisions that I would execute on the next day. During such times, I become extremely intense and focused on my thoughts and tend to block out the world around me. That is how the guy managed to get as close to me as he did without my noticing.

Anyway, when he grabbed me, it took me a while to realise what had happened and I was irritated. However, I thought that he might have needed some help with directions seeing that he had come to a stop on the bike and had gotten off it. I turned around to see what he wanted, and with a gleeful look, he said "look, look" and I was puzzled what he wanted me to look at. It was then that I saw him put his hands to his chest and opened up his long coat.

When I realised that he was trying to flash me, I was PISSED. The nerve of him to disrupt my thoughts just because he thought his widget would be interesting to others, seeing that it obviously was to him. He apparently must have thought highly of it or he wouldn't be going around announcing to the world of its existence. Without even so much as a glance down, i gave him an angry frowl, clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes while yanking my arm away from him. I continued on with my walk as if nothing had happened while a look of bewilderment and surprise came over him. He looked deflated. I don't know if anything else was deflated.

Why am I recapping these insignificant events from my past? Because someone just tried picking me up on the streets today. Again. The familiar sense of awkwardness, annoyance, and "God, how do I get out of this" moments made it a very uncomfortable walk all the way to my bus stop as he was trying to get me to go out with him.

While I have girlfriends who handle these circumstances with utmost tact and ease - they are comfortable and confident enough to make friends with strangers who approach them on the streets and even go out on dates with them - I cringe at the very thought. Images of being dragged to some back alley and being beaten, robbed or raped flash into my mind when someone who tries to pick me up on the street says "date".

My conclusion? If you guys out there value your ego and sanity, go try pick up someone else. While I know some of my friends will think me a snob or a prude, its the way my psych is engineered and there's nothing I can do to change it. So unless you come recommended by a friend or move in familiar circles (my workplace, church, salsa class, etc.) or are in my social network, please just move along and pretend that you never saw me. For your own peace of mind.